From time to time, we all eavesdrop on conversations not intended for our ears. Whether it’s on public transport, in a shady bar, or at a coffee shop, our curiosity gets the better of us. Sometimes we can’t help it, and other times we might deliberately try to listen in on what a stranger has to say.
However, once you hear something, it can’t be unheard. So when someone asked, “What is the creepiest thing you’ve overheard?” on r/AskReddit, replies started pouring in. From weirdly disturbing to painfully ridiculous, these stories show how people forget to read the room before loudly oversharing their thoughts.
Bored Panda has collected some of the best interactions from this thread, so continue scrolling and upvote the ones that surprised you the most. And if you’re in the mood for some more bizarre things people overheard in public, make sure to check out our previous posts about it right here, here, and here.
#1
I use to work at a Honda factory in Alabama and they get a lot of workers in from temp agencies, so you tend to get a lot of weird ones. As I'm walking back from my lunch break, I pass two guys and accidentally overhear, "I just want to impregnate the first thing I see." My only thoughts were, "Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact."
Image credits: ahylianhero
#2
I heard a dude grunting in the stall next to me trying to poop but they were clearly phantom poops.Although, every time he farted he broke out into a hysterical laughter and would then return to grunting.
The grunting got louder and louder until he just let out this epic GRUNT. Seriously, I thought he was s***ting a boulder. I think the whole Student Union heard him.
Anyway, after the huge grunt I heard the smallest "plop" and all hell broke loose.
He was cheering at this victory by banging on the side of the stall. Screaming with happiness. Between his screaming laughter he would yell, "F**k you poop! You can't control me!"
I think he forgot to wipe and wash his hands because then he just walked out.
I still wonder if I should try to be more proud of the poops I take.
Image credits: [deleted]
#3
I speak a small amount of russian. Not enough to get me through a conversation but after watching a bunch of videos and trying to learn the language, I can understand a fair amount more than I can speak.I was in Toronto walking down the road and there were two guys, Russian, sitting and talking in Russian at a table. I overheard 4 words. Dead, Body, murder, and what was essentially dispose. I turned pale and got the f**k out of there.
Image credits: [deleted]
#4
Work in prison so there is a lot, but one inmate telling me she was going to toss poo at me unless I fed her my boogers takes the list so far.
Image credits: Mr_Fffish
#5
"I love you, but I can't let you throw my baby out the window." Said by drunk redneck lady to her male companion at a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant. She kept repeating it to the man, still have no clue what events took place in their lives to lead up to that conversation.
Image credits: BeePinata
#6
"Send the money back to Jamaica, or everyone's gonna die!"I was waiting at a bus stop when a woman walked past me, screaming this into her phone. I'd very much like to find out if they sent the money back.
Image credits: JaggedJack
#7
When I was a bartender, I could overhear quite a few conversations. The most unnerving came when I saw a man hand another man a small brown container with a white cap. I only overheard snippets:"… won't remember anything."
"Even from what happened before. Total eraser."
"… do it again and again."
"…. get blackouts. You don't know what kind of damage that does."
"… pass out? I'm not a necrophiliac."
"No, they participate all right…"
Image credits: Martyn V. Halm
#8
The following stories were featured on another topic similar in nature (which I later featured on my blog)...Four or five years ago, a friend of mine and I decided to stop at a Steak ‘N Shake after competing in an intense 10K for inline speed skating. You know… load up on carbs, calories, and grease to relax after a hard morning. After receiving our food and starting to enjoy our food, we both heard the following conversation take place:
Man: I wish we had more time… you know… really enjoy the foreplay instead of jumping right to it.
Woman: I know, baby. My husband gets home early and we can’t afford getting caught.
Man: Why don’t you just leave him already? You know damn well you don’t love him anymore. You know I can provide you with everything he does and then some.
Woman: But the kids…
Man: Consider their college paid for. In cash. You know I can do it.
Woman: I love you.
Man: Then come be with me.
Woman: Next week, okay?
They then kissed each other passionately (read: make out with slobbery tongue action) and left.
ಠ_ಠ
Okay... not so creepy, but still disturbing. Another gem of a story that made me REALLY uncomfortable...
About two years ago, I had traveled out of town to go visit a jobsite my company was contracted for and wanted to enjoy a nice treat: Steak ‘N Shake. (See… we don’t have any around where I live and the closest one is at least 70 miles away; If I’m near one, I enjoy the hell out of it.) Again… I had just ordered my food and I suddenly begin overhearing the conversation taking place behind me. The voices sounded older… late 50′s, maybe early 60′s.
Man 1: Oh! I forgot to tell you I talked to Jenny [not exact name] the other day!
Man 2: Sweet! How’s she doing? How’s her daughter?
Man 1: She’s great, man. Her daughter is as beautiful as ever.
Man 2: Good deal. I remember her daughter used to be SMOKING hot. I wish I could [censored, for the sake of my sanity] before the school boys get to it!
Man 1: Oh, you and me both!
Man 2: How old is she now?
Man 1: She just turned 13.
...
What in the royal horse f**k did I just hear?
#9
At Burger King one day, "And they found her dead in the river?..... Who pulled her out?.... Oh, she was murdered?" It was a guy talking very loudly on his cell phone. There was an audible sigh of relief when he left.
Image credits: level 1 [deleted]
#10
Not creepy, but I overheard it:SCENE: I enter the bathroom at a bar and head to the urinal. GUY 1 is slumped in the stall over the toilet. GUY 2 pops his head in.
GUY 2: Hey Rocco, you okay?
GUY 1: Ugghhhh.... Yeah.
GUY 2: You sure Rocco?
GUY 1: Mmmmmm... Ugh... fine.
pause
GUY 2: Happy birthday Rocco.
pause
GUY 2: You sure you're okay?
GUY 1: DO I LOOK LIKE I'M F***ING OKAY!?!
Scene
Image credits: [deleted]
#11
Two guys are talking next to me at a restaurant.Guy 1: Dude, how do you decide if you take her to her place or your place?
Guy 2: It depends on how rough I want [it] to get.
Guy 1: What do you mean?
Guy 2: Well, if I get rough and we're at her place, she kicks me out and I have to go home in the middle of the night. If we're at my place, the girl can leave and I'm already in bed.
Image credits: Dushka Zapata
#12
I overheard someone in a bathroom talking to themselves in Yoda's voice saying "mmm tough this one is, use the force I must".8 years ago, still creeps me out
#13
A guy I was standing near in the bar: "You know, the simple fact of the matter is, I could easily drug and [sexually overpower] any of these chicks. Most of them I wouldn't even have to drug, because I'm obviously stronger."His friend: "That's one hundred percent fact. Hell, I'd help if she turned out the be a fighter. You know that."
I could pretend they were having a hypothetical discussion about women's safety issues, if it wasn't for that second guy's reply.
#14
At Starbucks in a pretty affluent area. Two soccer moms are having a conversation about mom #1's 12-year-old son [inappropriately touching] his sister who sounded close in age. It was graphic and detailed about what he did and what they were doing to stop it. They were talking in normal tones and not even being remotely secretive about this.No, I didn't call the cops. No one is going to believe a poor kid over rich soccer moms anyway.
#15
"No, shut up. Just shut up. Listen to me. Go get some trash bags and rent a Uhaul. Everything's gonna be fine, I'll be there in 10 minutes." She then got up and walked out of the lobby while I exchanged horrified looks with the hotel cashier.
Image credits: Shark_P**n
#16
While having breakfast one morning in 2015, at a pousada somewhere in the Northeast of Brazil, I overheard the British owner say the following to some of his friends:"So in terms of the new law, even if the boy consents or seduces you, YOU can still be charged [...] if he was underage."
#17
'So we were basically playing Russian roulette with the gun up my a**' said one police officer to the other...#18
Back in elementary school and middle school, this one kid would be rapidly scribbling pictures in his notebook with his face practically two inches away from the page. He would mutter extreme violent things but I didn't think much of it. Even though he was constantly called into the school psychologists office and was into killing, he never pulled anything in school. To be honest I was glad I graduated and got away from him. He always made me nervous.Fast forward to last year: My freshman year of college! I'm all happily relaxing in the library, when suddenly I hear that voice again. God dammit he goes to my college now ಠ_ಠ
#19
A father is talking about his two daughters age 6 and 9.Him: Yeah she has a body like a boy now but once she gets older, I'm sure she'll have a sexy body.
Everyone in the room: err
Him: Just like her mom, you know. I know if I was a boy their age that I would be trying to be really close friends with them.
#20
overheard a crazy hippies plan to put a oz of shrooms into 4 separate brownies and feed them to someone he referred to as the son of satan#21
Two dudes in the stall next to me at CHilis..."oh yea. Your tongue is so warm in my a**." Other guy, "jeez, jared, when's the last time you CLEANED your hole? Ive got s**t in my teeth. "
I didnt finish my dinner...
#22
This kid sat behind me in a class for the better part of a year. One day he was talking about how he got suspended for having a journal filled with the names of people he wanted to kill and how he would do it.His rationalization of it was "better than me actually killing them!"
#23
I was at an airport and had to use the restroom. This was in one of the smaller terminals so there was practically nobody near where I was except for in the stall next to me. I had sat down and was going about my business when all of the sudden I hear this high, feminine giggling coming from the occupied stall, please note, I was in the men's restroom. So I figure that some random lady got lost and ended up in the wrong restroom, but then I hear another, deeper voice telling the lady to be quiet. So I sit there for a moment, wanting to finish up as quickly as possible so I can leave before things get graphic, but I was too late when all of the sudden the guy yells: "Christ, you've got a d**k!" The stall door banged open and I heard the guy speed out of the bathroom, the 'girl' close behind him. I then took the shortest dump of my life and hurried back to my gate, my brain full of f**k. TL;DR: The Crying Game went down in the bathroom stall right next to me.#24
I was in a PATH train car with about 10 or 11 businesswomen. All middle aged. All looking pretty damn professional. 8 or 9 of them looked pretty damn sexy(if I do say so myself)They were going on about how to trick men into getting them pregnant. Not even to trap them in a relationship. They just had the baby rabies.
Like they left a convention or something.
I made eye contact with another dude on the train. I'm pretty sure we were thinking the same damn thing.
Image credits: [deleted]
#25
When I was at In-N-Out at 1 AM having your average post-drinking midnight meal, There was a homeless guy in the corner, quite dirty and obviously trying to subtly eat some leftovers someone left because he was hungry. Some drunk frat bros were making fun of him, telling him to go back to his hole and other insults. After a few minutes of this, the homeless guy got up, stood on his table, and literally put a curse on them. I forget his exact wording because the scene was so shocking and I couldn't believe what I was seeing/hearing, but it was something to the effect of "I hereby curse you never to father healthy children and to die a painful death without love in the next year. You will be tortured by Satan for all eternity I swear it". The employees called the cops and the homeless dude left.TL;DR: Homeless Man puts a curse on some a-holes at In-N-out.
Image credits: Rabbi_Koufax
#26
I wore a corset with a shrug (half-jacket) over it to work one day. Around lunch time I went to the break room and said hi to my male coworker. He asked if I was having lunch, I responded "just grabbing a snack". As I leaned into the fridge I heard a quiet "heh, heh, I'll snack on you". I did not go back to the break room until quitting time.#27
Not creepy, but more funny. I was in Applebees when this dude and his date/gf sit down at the table next to us. They launch into boring conversation about how shampoo is the governments way of controlling our minds. Then gf shouts "No way!" Everyone turns and looks and she blushes and lowers her voice. I, of course, listened."You...you're not really Jesus...are you?"
Dude smirked and nodded, and gf looked thoroughly impressed.
Pretty sure dude got laid that night.
Tl;dr, Jesus eats at Applebees
#28
I was in line at some restaurant, and these two guys were discussing eating human bacon. They said that the person's info could be on the package so you could pick the "best taste". I gagged and got out of line.#29
I was babysitting my 4 year old cousin not too long ago. I had been fostering a mama cat and her litter of kittens.The kid was playing with the kittens in my living room while I was cooking lunch and I overheard her singing "Gonna catch a kitty. Gonna have it for lunch." Over and over again.
Kids are creepy.
#30
Me and a friend went to the Krystal Burger on Bourbon Street one night to try and eat off our drunkness. While we're waiting for our food to come out, a younger homeless looking guy walks up to us with some sort of walkie-talkie looking thing. We had a nice little chat about his device:Friend: "Hey man, that's a cool looking radio. What's it for?"
Guy: "I can listen to WHATEVER radio signals I WANT to from all OVER THE COUNTRY!"
Friend: "Oh, that's cool. What do you listen to? Police stations?"
Guy: "Yeah yeah...I can listen to them. That's no fun though. The BEST stuff is from hotel workers!"
We just kind of laugh at this point and stop talking to him, but crazy guy's found someone to talk to. He's not letting this go.
Guy: "This thing is SO powerful. I could tune in to any camera in the country right now. I COULD EVEN WATCH YOUR SISTER MENSTRUATE!!!"
At this point, everyone in the place gets wide-eyed and stares at the guy. Me and my friend just laugh and walk out of the place chomping on those delicious little burgers.
#31
I was sitting in my room quietly working on homework (I was in college at the time) and overheard two men (one of whom lived in the room next to me) calmly discussing the best way to [sexually overpower] me. It was 10am and they were already drinking beer. They were discussing tactics like drugging my food or drink, or physically overpowering me on my way to the bathroom, either very early or late when no one would be awake to hear me scream.They then started discussing the vile things they wanted to do, mostly involving [harming] me in vicious and inventive ways.
#32
So this kid sat behind me in a class for the better part of a year. Then one day he went behind me and said " i will lick your sweat" in a creepy voice.
Image credits: leavenger
#33
At a bar, heard some people having a conversation about sex, okay then, thats normal, but from out of no where a single sentance nearly made me spit drink on my friend. The guy had very audibly said to a girl "show me your hymen" dunno if she did. Dunno if i care. But he was creepy as balls.#34
A friend told me this: "The reason we can't human meat, it's the greatest tasting meat in the world."#35
I was playing in an underground poker room, everything was going smoothly. The table was fun and everyone was having a good time. Chips were flying around, jokes were being made, etc... There was this one older gentleman, probably around 65 years old who would always come by and buy in for the minimum. He mostly came to socialize and the poker was secondary.The TV was on, and they were showing footage of some swimsuit competition or something. There was a gorgeous girl on the tv and naturally all of the table starting talking about how hot she was... Then the old guy turns to me and drops this one - "I would suck the s**t out of her a** with a straw."
#36
One time I was in a public men's restroom. I was in a stall. I heard guy come in to the stall next to me. Right when he got in he says, "Mmm tasty." Then I heard the usual diarrhea fart sounds. Then he started to say, "Oh yeah!!! Oh f**k yeah!!! Oh yes!!!" He kept saying that for at least ten minutes. He sounded like he was having an orgasm while taking a s**t. The whole situation was so weird.#37
Overheard my sisters ex-boyfriend talking about how he stabbed a guy in the head with a butchers knife.#38
I don't know if you'd call it creepy, but my g/f at the time and I were eating at a fancy restaurant one town over for Valentines day.The people at the table behind us started loading up on wine and talking very loudly. They apparently worked in the same OR and were discussing all of the s**t they'd do improperly. I hope to god I'm never hurt or need an operation where those people work.
#39
Me and my friend were walking through a hallway in school, and all we hear while walking past these two kids is one of them saying "Masturbating with a hockey stick"#40
My friend and I went to the pool and overheard a conversation between a few teenagers. The girl exclaimed quite loudly that she "walked in and there was poo on her bed." She went on to say that she couldn't do anything about it so she slept on the floor.#41
"No, not in the mouth!" - heard really loudly from the backstage after a folk-concert in Eastern Europe.#42
Sitting in my back yard, I once heard the neighbor girl yell at her little sister: "I will take a fork and stab your eye and pluck it out!"The little sister started giggling.
#43
Came into work on a Saturday morning. I could hear the unmistakable sounds of p**nography wafting from my conservative, rich boss' office. When I call out "hello?", I hear two male voices in the office.I totally split before anyone could come out of the office. Never could look my boss in the eye for the rest of that job.
#44
on a bus to the pittsburgh airport, overheard a large black male talking on the phone about how he 'will have the $25 grand to you within the week, that way we can cut the stuff and start selling soon.' I was standing right next to him, and just stared foreword the entire time. twas odd.#45
Not really creepy, but it's still pretty sexual.It was during the end of my freshman year. Everyone said their goodbyes, and we were getting ready for the summer.
Fast forard to Lunchtime. I always ate next to my best friends and next to my secret crush. At the time, she was in a relationship with some other guy, so I didn't talk to her much, since her boyfriend was sitting there at the time.
Me and my friends are talking about what we plan to do in the summer, When I can't help but overhear my crushe's conversation with her boyfriend.
She says to him "Baby, my throat still hurts from last night." Then he replies "So your still soar from last night?" She replies "Its like you shoved it down my throat way too fast and hard, but I could go another round tonight, probably a little anal" He then says "Well thats a good way to end the school year!"
By this time, I cant help but slowly turn around and stare at them. They stare back for about a minute, which felt like an eternity. I break the akward staring by swiftly putting my tray away and leaving the lunch room. We never talked since.
Edit: Had a few typos I had to fix.
#46
When I was in high school making up creepy stuff around random passersby was a pretty common pastime among me and my friends. We'd be walking down the street and we'd take turns saying the most outrageous stuff we could think of as we walked by people. Generally, whoever we agreed came up with the best line didn't have to pay for or dinner next time we all went out.#47
A guy to the woman he was walking with: "I want you to breastfeed me"#48
Well, it was something someone else overheard. My friend has a big white van (keeps surfboards and stuff in) and it's always looked suspicious, so we nicknamed it the Rapemobile™.I was on my mobile phone, chatting as normal about meeting up, when I asked, "Are you going to bring the Rapemobile™?"
Turn around, bright eyes. Three women behind me. They are upset.
#49
I overheard a girl talking with her friend trying to decide if she would be up for hitting the club after getting an abortion.#50
Was in a bathroom stall in high school. Someone walked into the stall next to me, started to crap violently and loudly. with each fire of his artillery he let out an equally destructive string of cuss words. When his crap would subside for a minute I could hear him unroll some toilet paper, and rub it together really fast. I don't know where he rubbed it or what, nor did I care. It was weird but one of my more entertained craps.#51
I overheard a girl asking whatever god she believes in to let her know who her boyfriend was with at the very moment.#52
In a men's bathroom in some club in Germany: 'I can totally see why you're a 'bottom'... giggle#53
"I love you, Daddy." from the next bathroom stall over.#54
I was at a movie rental place, just outside the "adults only" section. (Honest. The Sci-Fi section was next to it. ;) Ah, the days of VHS...) An... older couple was browsing the adult titles. They were both... not pretty people: overweight, teeth missing, etc.She said to him: "Don't get that one. It has too much scenery in it. I want some action!"
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